Maybe Now, Maybe Later, Maybe Not Ever
by SilverShortyyy
Summary: Post S4. A loud clatter on the ground. None of them had to look to know who's name it is, and Regina almost knows Emma's going to pop up somewhere here. She's okay, and she's coming back. Maybe now, maybe later. Maybe not ever.


It didn't have to be her.

But enough about that. Where is she?

"Emma?" In the arms of her True Love, she feels locked and bound to sanity, but it didn't feel right like this; where the hell is Emma?

"Emma?" She was the Dark One now, Emma Swan. The Savior. But she could control it; she's the Savior after all. She won't get drunk with the power, she won't abuse it, she won't-

Oh who was she kidding? Emma's human too. Even if she's the Savior, she's human too.

But where the hell is she?

"Emma!" What if she's in the Enchanted Forest? What if the light in her isn't enough? What if the darkness overtakes her completely? What if-

No. Emma's strong. Emma can do this. Emma won't lose to it.

She _can't_.

"Emma!" Finally shaking off his grip, Regina runs to the spot where the Savior had been just moments ago, where the dagger now lies in the cold bitterness that it is. She looks around, she looks anywhere, she looks everywhere, as if the Savior is just going to pop up like she did on that night three years ago.

"Emma!" But she won't. Wherever she is, Emma isn't going to pop up right now.

Maybe not now, maybe later.

Maybe not ever.

Regina kneels down, and the hilt of the dagger feels so cold on her flesh, and she thinks this is all a dream, yes, because only Rumplestiltskin could ever be the Dark One, because he's the only one who _can_ be the Dark One.

But it's not a dream, and where the hell is Emma Swan?

"Regina," she didn't know why she felt this way. "We'll find her." She knows this feeling, and she knows she _shouldn't_ be feeling it right now, not this way.

"Robin's right, Regina. We'll find her, and you know us," but maybe she's just confused. Maybe she isn't really feeling _it_. Maybe she just wants Emma to be okay, just wants Emma to be Emma again. "We always find each other."

Maybe she just didn't want to lose the one person who never leaves her no matter what.

"Mom? Mom! Is everything okay?" Even when everyone looked at her like she was a monster, even when Emma saw her as much as everyone else did, even when Emma wanted to wring the life out of her after realizing the truth behind those fairy tales, Emma never left her. "Mom?"

She should say something. Especially now that she knows Henry is right in front of her with his shoes just at the corner of her vision, and she knows that thinking like this won't help them, no, it won't help them find Emma.

Right now, she had to hold on to the fact that Emma is still out there, and that Emma could still be Emma.

That Emma won't be completely gone yet.

So she stands, and she sees Robin Hood and Henry, and the two idiots and the one-handed wonder, and she knows she has to be strong. For them, for herself, and for Emma.

For all she knows it's only seconds before Emma loses her soul to the darkness.

"We have to find Emma. No matter what it takes, we have to find her."

And if Emma loses her soul to the darkness, even if they can only find the Sorcerer in time to stop the darkness from wreaking havoc throughout the realms, there won't be any Emma to save from the darkness.

"God knows how long we have before the darkness takes over her, and I've seen her lose control before." _And I don't remember anyone else being able to convince her to stop._ "At this point, we don't want that to happen."

When a soul is devoured by darkness, when there is not even a sliver of light left, there's nothing to salvage.

"So we have to find her." _Before it's too late._ "We have to find Emma."

 _Just hang in there Emma, we're coming for you. I'm coming for you._

Regina didn't think she could live in a world where Emma Swan would be nothing more than a memory.

"We have to." It comes out barely a whisper, and she swears it's sweat that skids down her cheek, not a tear, no, because why would she be shedding a tear for that insufferable Savior? Why, when the tear should be shed by the two idiots or Hook? Why, when she knows this tear means something it's not supposed to?

"We'll find her, mom." Those eyes are brown, not green, but it's just like Emma's. Just as deep, just as beautiful, just as promising to happiness like Emma's. "We won't let it get to that."

And even if it doesn't, and she will never admit this, she'd rather have that darkness than let it have Emma. Not for the reasons of heroism or honor, or even redemption or whatever else, but something she knows she shouldn't feel, because Robin Hood's right there.

But she feels it. She feels it so bad, she wishes the darkness would've killed her at this point.

So she looks them in the eye, but not Robin Hood, no, not Hook either. She can only look into Henry's eyes that shine with hope like she knows Emma's do, and she looks to Snow who understands her almost immediately. She doesn't look at Charming, no, because she sees him in Snow, and his strength is Snow's.

They had to find Emma. Before it's too late.

* * *

It feels like choking and wanting to vomit. It feels like being burned from the inside out. It feels like being drowned in sorrow and losing sight of everything that is, that could be. It feels like darkness in its purest form: tempting, but painful, so painful, but she doesn't know how to make it go away.

So she just laughs, and laughs, and cries, and punches the wall and she doesn't even care where she is but it just _hurts_.

She can hear glass shattering and shards crunching under her feet, she can see only white and black, white and black, and her blonde hair is so all over the place that she doesn't even know if it's still on her head. She feels bile rise in her throat, fire burning in her veins, acid eating her from the inside out, her brain bursting from all the pain.

Will this ever end?

And maybe she just got knocked out, or she was just unconscious, or she was already dead, but it all just vanished and there was no pain and all she feels is nothing.

Dead, then.

But then she feels hatred and anguish and sorrow and pain and the raw breath of rage and the desire for revenge and she sees everything as darkness and nothing as goodness, and she just wants nothing to be left in all the realms but flames and destruction and not one spec of life.

Who was she again? Was she even a she? Well, at this point it didn't matter.

All that matters now is that everyone, everywhere, should drown in the flames of their sins.

It's time the darkness takes over the light.

* * *

The force felt too strong, and she knows she hit the jackpot. But why Emma would be in her vault – in the secret room of her vault, in all places – is beyond her. Right now, she couldn't risk losing Emma.

She's just too important. Too important, even if Regina knows she shouldn't feel this way.

Since when had she felt this way towards the Savior, anyway?

"Emma?" No caution. Not now, please, not when Emma could be struggling, hurting, losing at the other side of the wall. "Emma?"

A movement of the hand. Purple smoke. Shattered glass. Tattered wallpaper. Broken mirrors. Messy blonde hair. A limp body. Screaming. Pleading. Blank eyes. Pale lips. Crying out. Begging her to come back. Lips forming a word. A name. Before it all crashed down on the only hope she had left.

"Regina." Then the familiar green left her eyes, and there wasn't even a hint of life, or hope, or everything she's ever known to be in those eyes, but she knows it's over, all over, because it just turns black, and then Emma's just gone.

"Emma." She finds her voice too hoarse to scream, throat too painful to speak. She finds her voice only barely a whisper against the blonde's soft hair, and she hopes, wishes, wants the blonde to hear her, even just hear her, because maybe Emma could come back, because maybe Emma could hear her and wake up and this'll all be okay. "Emma, please."

A second. A minute. More waiting.

Nothing.

She lifts Emma's head just to see those eyes, and surely they are shrouded with darkness, and right now Emma's gone. Emma's soul is gone, and all that's really left of Emma now is the memories in the past, all in the past.

Emma's really gone now, and she feels her heart tear open more than it did when Daniel died, more than it did when Robin left, more than it did when Henry despised her enough to want nothing to do with her.

Emma's gone.

She's too late.

But she finds herself closing her eyes and leaning forward, because she can't say good bye to Emma without this, because she can't let go of Emma if she can't throw back these feelings to the insufferable Savior that gave them to her.

And she feels soft lips, and nothing, just hers moving, begging for a response, anything, but there's nothing.

Moments pass and still, there's nothing.

Emma's gone, and there's nothing left.

Not even True Love can bring back the dead.

* * *

She had brought Emma's body back to the Charming's loft, and there they set her on the bed with her eyes now closed. The Apprentice sealed the darkness off, for just a little while, because none of them can ever kill Emma no matter how much they needed to.

 _Funny, because a handful of us have tried and even when we just really wanted her dead, she still managed to escape and save the world._

Now they surround her and wish and hope that this is all just a bad dream and Emma is just asleep. And that she's going to wake up any moment now, because she's a heavy sleeper, and she'll probably wake up right about...

... Now.

But her eye lids remain closed, because they want to see green eyes, not bleak pools of darkness.

"Ma, if you can hear me, you should know that I still need you, you know. Who's going to help me convince Mom to buy Cheetos every now and then?"

She would have reprimanded him and told him that he'd have no Cheetos for a year, but Emma would tell her he should have Cheetos at least every month if he's going to grow up like a normal teenage child.

" _Come on, Regina! Just one little pack and we'll just eat it at movie night!"_

"We need you Emma. Not just Henry, but me and your mother and Hook and everyone else in Storybrooke."

They all need her. But did they ever think Emma needs someone too?

" _They can't always understand me. Not the way I do. Not the way you do."_

"Swan, please. We all need you to come back."

"Even I need you." Yes, even the baby dragon needs Emma.

Does Regina need her? She does, but she just really wishes it isn't like this. She'd do anything not to feel this way.

Bit by bit, everyone left, and Regina didn't know if it had been just a few minutes or hours, but soon enough, everyone else is somewhere else in the Charming loft, while she stays beside Emma, trying, pleading, waiting, because she knows Emma's going to wake up. Maybe now, maybe later.

Maybe not ever.

Then she snaps.

She hears her heart break again, and she remembers it was already broken, but it breaks even more, even to tinier pieces, and she just knows she has to try one last time before the spell wears off and she'll have to kill Emma.

Because she doesn't want to kill Emma before doing it one last time.

So she hovers over the blonde and holds the Savior's cheeks with her palms, all the while sitting down slowly beside the blonde at the edge of the bed.

"You know, I've always felt that you were more than just that annoying new woman in town that came to destroy everything I've ever made." Wherever this is coming from, she just hopes it could reach Emma. Even if she would never admit this, if she actually knows what she's doing, she just hopes it could reach Emma. "I've always known you weren't just the birth mother of my child and trying to take him away from me."

A silent flicker of sounds from a TV in the distance. It seems so far, but in reality, it's just the next room.

"You always stood out in the crowd. Different, unique, the insufferable Savior."

Someone might come in. Someone might hear. Robin Hood might see, but at this point, she's too far gone to care.

"But to me, you were really always just Emma."

" _... I promised I'd help you get your happy ending. I just didn't think I'd ever see it."_

"And you know, I meant what I said when I asked you to come with me to New York."

 _"Maybe I need you."_

"I need you Emma." " _You may not be strong enough, but maybe we are."_ "Then, now, and probably forever."

Maybe the whole of Storybrooke is now watching her, listening to her, and maybe Robin Hood is right behind her right now. But she didn't care; she needs Emma to hear this.

"You've always been there for me, Emma." She needs Emma to come back. "And I don't know when, or how, or why, but..."

" _You worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed."_

"I love you, Emma Swan. Then, now, and probably forever."

She closes her eyelids just as a tear escapes and trails down her cheek, and she just wants to scream and call for Emma, but she knows Emma's gone. Still, she's going to try this one last time. After that, she'll kill Emma before the darkness can wreak havoc and take advantage of Emma's powers.

Just one last taste of her lips-

 _There are only five seconds until the spell will wear off._

-And one last try to see-

 _Four._

-If Emma's still there-

 _Three._

-And if Emma could still be-

 _Two._

-Saved with-

 _One._

-True Love's Kiss.

So Regina pushes herself to those lips, but instead of meeting unmoving, cold lips, she feels soft, warm lips parted open; Emma was chuckling.

Regina's eyes fly open, wide with surprise. In front of her is not a dark void, but soft green eyes that sparkle with hope and glint with mischief.

"Can you tell me why I took that long to figure out that I love you too?"

Stupid Emma.

"Maybe it's because you're the stupid Savior?"

How dare she wake up only now?

"No, maybe it's because I was blind for a while."

It was already nine o'clock; dinnertime had passed two hours ago.

"Oh really? The Savior? Blind?"

Well, maybe they could have a midnight snack, but she wasn't letting this pass without punishment.

"You blinded me. I couldn't see how hard I was falling until you jumped off the cliff and told me you love me too."

They could hear Hook and Robin and Henry, and Charming and Snow and the rest of Storybrooke just at the foot of the bed. Hell, Zelena might even be there too.

But that didn't matter. Not now. Not when they finally have each other.

Their lips just smash together and they fit perfectly and it feels so right it should be a sin. But they didn't care, not now when they finally know what their happy ending really is.

And they could end this if they know it isn't each other, if they aren't really each other's happy ending.

They could end it, but maybe they're each other's happy ending.

They could end it, but at this point, it feels like a lost cause if they do.

They could end it, maybe now, maybe later.

Maybe not ever.


End file.
